


Meet Me Halfway

by Love (crazylove)



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M, New Years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-05
Updated: 2010-03-05
Packaged: 2017-10-07 17:50:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/67639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazylove/pseuds/Love
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's 2010 and Matt and Anoop are sick of being apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meet Me Halfway

When Matt arrives at his hotel room in Oklahoma City he can't remember if he's been there or not so he calls Anoop.

“Did we go to Oklahoma City?” Matt asks when Anoop answers the phone.

“What?” Anoop says.

“On the tour?” Matt adds. He drops his bag just inside the door of the bedroom and collapses on the bed. He stares up at the beige-colored ceiling.

“I don't know. I don't have the schedule in front of me.”

“Oh. I thought you might remember.”

“Why would I remember that?”

“Because you remember everything else,” Matt says.

Despite the boring wall color, this hotel room is much nicer than the ones he books himself when he goes to Nashville, even nicer than the hotel rooms they had on tour. The Oklahoma City Thunder promoter really hooked him up. He's grateful even if he thinks it's all a little excessive just for one night and a couple of songs.

His bed is huge, set apart in a grand bedroom with french doors that lead to the rest of the room. He bounces a little on the mattress as he's talking to Anoop. It's got just the type of give he likes. There's a jacuzzi tub and a shower. The plush couch in the living room looks big and soft and there's a huge flat screen TV mounted on the wall. They even told him that room service is included and the room has a corner devoted to the well-stocked bar. It's the kind of place that Matt wants to share with somebody.

Too bad he's in Oklahoma City alone.

“My hotel bed is too big for just me,” Matt says.

“Poor baby,” Anoop says dryly.

“Wait,” Matt says, scooting to the edge of the bed as his brain sparks with unspecified memories. “Was it that hotel room with the purple walls? You said they were purple right? And the doors squeaked?”

“Oh yeah,” Anoop says and Matt can hear the recognition in his voice. “When you got your foot stuck between the bed and wall?”

“Well,” Matt pauses reluctantly. He doesn't really want Anoop to remember that part. “Yeah.”

“I know what you're talking about,” Anoop says. “No, we didn't go to Oklahoma City. That was in Tulsa. It's in Oklahoma but it's not the same thing.”

“Right,” Matt says. He doesn't really know—because how different could places in Oklahoma be?--but if Anoop says so then it has to be right. “Tulsa.”

“So I guess you haven't been to Oklahoma City before,” Anoop concludes. “How are you liking it?”

“The hotel is great,” Matt says. There's a silence between them that's comfortable and Matt spends a moment listening to Anoop breathe before he asks, “What are you doing right now?”

“I have to run some errands,” Anoop says. “I'll call you later.”

Matt drops his iPhone on the bed beside him. He can't believe it's New Year's Eve. 2009 is gone already. Usually he has a bubbly pit of excitement in his stomach all day but now he's just bored. He figures he could go to the gym downstairs (yeah, right) or the pool (but he didn't bring anything to swim in so that's out) or down to the lobby and play the piano there (it's tempting but Matt knows there has to be a time where he just leaves all of that in the past) but after going over all of the options he feels too lazy to move. Instead he just lies there with his eyes closed, trying to think about his set, the upcoming basketball game, the new year—anything—anything at all, anything but Anoop but as usual Anoop ends up being the only thing he can think about.

* 

Anoop decides he's actually going to use the $100 Macy's gift card his aunt gave him in order to buy a new outfit for his New Year's Eve hosting gig. He drives to Southpoint Mall which is just as crowded as he expects but it makes him feel a little better. He doesn't get recognized as easily when there's a lot of people around. That's a very good thing.

The store signs boast that Macy's is having its best sale of the year. Anoop finds this ironic because it's the last day of the year so there's little time for the sales to get any _better_ but he's sure nobody else cares about his observation as he passes by people pushing back hangers on the clearance racks. He tries to avoid just about everyone as he makes his way to the men's section. It's a little more self-contained upstairs, just men's clothes, housewares and furniture, things Anoop can handle. He looks around, not even sure where to start. He's drawn to the black dress shirts he sees hanging below a half-off sign—dress shirts because that's professional, black because that's slimming on TV and half-off because there's nothing wrong with wanting to stretch the gift card money so he can buy a new iPod adapter for his car—but then he remembers that this is supposed to be a fun show and he doesn't want to seem boring. He scans the room for something else he can wear that's long-sleeved but good-looking. His dad's advice echoes in his ears: “Try something with color, Anoop! It makes your skin pop!”

Anoop feels like one of those bargain shoppers as he walks over to a table near the aisle and looks at the sweaters. He doesn't like messing up the way they are neatly stacked and folded but that's the only way he can try to find what he's looking for. The sweaters come in all sorts of colors. At first Anoop decides on blue but then he picks up the green and knows he's going to at least try it on.

There's other choices like cardigans and polos and turtlenecks. Anoop sees a jacket he thinks might look cool if he wore a funky t-shirt underneath and dark jeans. He's never liked shopping that much because he isn't good at it but as he continues to try to live the Hollywood life he's been more willing to give it a try.

Suddenly, Anoop's arms are full of clothes and he's not even sure how it even happened. As he moves toward the dressing room he passes a small table covered with belts, ties and a few fedoras. He drops his clothing stash on the table and picks up one of the fedoras—black with white pinstripes— and stares at it for a moment before gingerly placing it on his own head.

For a long time he wasn't worried. He knew their paths would cross again, that they'd meet up somewhere, they'd make time for each other. But then the weeks passed and now they hadn't seen each other for over three consecutive _months_ and it was just getting ridiculous.

Anoop thinks he should probably let it all go but there's that phone call every night that keeps him hanging on, uncertainly, painfully.

Besides, he can't imagine wanting anyone else but Matt.

The hat looks silly on him but he was expecting that. Most hats do. Anoop isn't the type of person to put on an article of clothing, look at himself in the mirror and run through a gauntlet of memories in his head so vivid that they make him hold his breath but here he is, doing that exact thing in the middle of the men's section in Macy's. He waits until he makes it into the dressing room before he calls so he'll be alone but it's a dressing room at Macy's so he knows that the modicum of privacy he has is mostly an illusion.

“Hey,” Anoop says when Matt answers the phone. “What are you doing?”

“Laying down,” Matt says. “What are you doing?”

“Shopping.”

“Oh yeah, those errands.”

“This is for tonight,” Anoop says. The clothes are waiting for him, swaying on the hangers from some imaginary wind. He doesn't know where to start. “I wanted a new outfit.”

“What did you pick?” Matt asks. He doesn't sound like he's been sleeping so Anoop doesn't feel too guilty for keeping him on the line.

“Nothing yet,” Anoop says. “I don't know what to get.”

“Let me see. I can help, Noop. Tweet a pic.”

Anoop smiles grimly in the mirror even though that's exactly what he wanted Matt to say. “I won't tweet it. I'll send it to you.”

He tries on the green sweater first and holds his iPhone up awkwardly in the mirror. He doesn't know how to make his face look so in the end he makes sure the phone is covering his face and snaps the pic. Matt responds right away.

_ very nice!!!!!! :D what else?_

Anoop doesn't understand how one text message reply can embolden him but it does. He tries on a blue button down shirt, adjusts the collar and this time when he takes the pic he looks straight into the mirror with his mouth closed and his eyes slightly narrowed. He's not sure what he wants the look to mean but if Matt found it inviting he certainly wouldn't disagree.

_ I like that color! The shirt is kinda boring tho :( but u look good!_

Anoop is slightly disappointed Matt didn't say anything about his face but then again what does he expect Matt to say? He sends a couple more pictures of different shirts. Matt seems to like everything but it's obvious the green sweater is his favorite even though Anoop knows he can't appreciate the color.

There's only a couple items left, the jacket, the dark jeans at a smaller waist size Anoop hasn't tried before but he'd been meaning to, and the t-shirt, gray with yellow lettering so there is still that pop of color but everything is faded so it isn't too overwhelming for him. This time when Anoop takes the picture he tries the look again, the inviting one or whatever. He slips one hand in his jeans, not the pocket, but the crotch.

His heart is racing as he presses send.

Matt responds almost immediately.

_ WOW!! that outfit is it. Love the shirt and the jacket and the jeans._

Anoop is still scanning the text when another one comes through. Matt's name is still in bold.

_u look good in those jeans. Sexy._

Anoop smiles to himself and is about to tap out a reply when his phone buzzes again.

_i want to see you wearing just those jeans_

For once in his life he doesn't think twice. Anoop takes off the shirt and the jacket, hanging them neatly on the hangers. Then he holds up his phone and take the pic, shirtless. He doesn't even look at it before sending it to Matt.

_i like that. Turn around I want to see everything!_

Anoop doesn't think he looks particularly different from behind but he likes taking the pictures for some reason so he turns around and takes a picture of the back of his jeans the best he can.

_nice! I know what I'd like to do back there_

Anoop rolls his eyes. Truthfully, he finds text messaging like this to be awkward but he's been desperate for a while now. Anoop finally finishes his reply.

_ I know and I wish you would. Haven't picked out my underwear for tonight._

_What are your choices?_

Anoop drops the new jeans then. The underwear he's wearing currently aren't actually a choice for this evening. He'd going to take another shower and then change but there's no way he's really going to try on underwear at Macy's so he has to do with what he already has. He's wearing black boxer-briefs and he adjusts himself so he looks the best before taking the picture. He presses the phone against his cock when it starts buzzing again.

_that's what I'm talking about. That's what I want._

Anoop replies, feeling frustrated and horny. _come and get it_

The buzzing doesn't really do anything to arouse him unless he does something weird, like imagining it's Matt's mouth, but he keeps it against his underwear anyway.

_u come over here!!!_

Anoop wants to groan out loud. He can imagine another three months of this and it makes him angry. But he's more desperate than angry so he drops his underwear as if that's the signal that will make Matt come running. Standing there naked he sucks in his stomach. He considers making himself hard but he's halfway there from just a few barely sexual text messages so he figures that's enough to illustrate his current state of mind.

He takes the picture and after a few moments he hits send.

A minute goes by. Two minutes. Five. No answer from Matt. Anoop holds his phone, bewildered. Maybe he took the game too far. Maybe there is an actual reason that Matt hasn't come to see him, one that Anoop hasn't stopped to consider.

Maybe Matt doesn't really want him.

Anoop calls because he has to know.

“Yo,” Matt says.

“Well,” Anoop says.

“Well, what?”

“Did you get it?”

“What are you talking about, Noop?”

“The picture,” Anoop says in a low voice. He doesn't know who is in the dressing room, who could be listening, so he whispers. “Naked...”

“Naked?” Matt practically yells on the other end. “I didn't get any... what are you talking about? Like, when you were in your underwear? Yeah, those are hot, Noop, I really like them. Thank you--”

“No, asshole,” Anoop hisses. “I just sent you some totally... right now!”

“I didn't get that. Are you sure, Noop?”

Anoop pauses because at that moment he isn't sure. His heart slams up into his throat. Those pics could be anywhere. Was the lack of sex in his life really affecting his brain that badly? How could he be so stupid to take a naked picture of himself and then send it through the radio waves to God-knows-where?

“Shit,” Anoop mumbles.

“Hey!” Matt says. “Isn't my name right next to 'Mom' in your address book? What if you sent it to--” Then Matt bursts out into laughter and Anoop wants to punch him and kiss him at the same time.

“I hate you,” Anoop says.

“You love me,” Matt says brightly.

“No. I really, really hate you.”

“Thanks for the pics. I love them. I really do. Just remember, they are mine forever. You better not make me mad!” Matt chuckles while Anoop pulls up his underwear, one handedly, a bit reluctant to be clothed again. If he were anywhere but a Macy's dressing room he's sure he'd jerk off to just Matt's voice on the phone.

“God, I miss seeing you naked for real.” Matt sighs the same kind of sigh Anoop hears in his head.

“Me too,” Anoop says. He's not worried about the pics. Even if something does happen between them and they are no longer like this he knows that he'd still trust Matt completely.

* 

Matt feels like he's living in two different worlds. There's the present, the real world, where he's living and breathing and eating and playing and then the world with all his fantasies, ideas and memories. Ever since the show it's been easier to slip into the memories and all of the songs that his heart begs him to create. Sometimes they feel more real to him then the world he's supposed to be living in.

After hanging up with Anoop, Matt stares at the picture on his phone. Anoop naked. That's all he wants to look at. He doesn't even focus on Anoop's cock—well, not the whole time—but instead he takes in everything, Anoop's long legs, his small waist, erect nipples, sharp shoulders and those lips, pressed together in a half-smirk. His eyes show his real smile.

Matt misses that smile. He runs his fingers over the screen, slowly, imagining that Anoop's lips are really under his fingers. He feels pathetic but he just can't help it. He props his phone up on his pillow and stares as he masturbates furiously thinking about that time he got his foot stuck in Tulsa. That had been quite the situation but it did have a happy ending. The only ending Matt gets now is wiping off his stomach with a fancy hotel towel and then standing the shower for a long time.

The arena is really nice. Matt does his sound check from the middle of the floor and he's pretty impressed just being there. Even though they inhabited plenty of arenas on tour it feels different now that he's all by himself. He doesn't have his American Idols All-Access pass. Kris isn't making a million faces on stage as he strums through his set. Adam isn't smiling his way through phone calls backstage while he's still able to keep up with everyone's conversations simultaneously. Anoop doesn't come back from where ever he was working out all sweaty and annoyed because they always cut him short. It's just Matt doing his soundcheck on the court, Matt's name on the dressing room, Matt's courtside seat. It's all about him. This is everything he wanted. Everything he worked for back during those days where he was just another piano guy playing anonymously for a crowd.

So why isn't he happier? He should be used to missing Anoop by now.

His dressing room smells like a locker room and he still has a whole hour before he goes to sing the National Anthem so he calls Anoop.

“Hey,” Anoop says. “How was sound check?”

“It was good. They got the sound all right. No big deal, you know? I was worried about an echo but the acoustics are good. The Ford Center has got it going on. Are you wearing your outfit?”

“Yeah, I have to wear a coat over it though so I'm not sure people will be able to see it. It's a nice coat, though.”

“We worked hard on that outfit!” Matt says. He leans forward and palms an orange from the fruit basket they gave him. He doesn't understand why so many people think fruit is such a good gift. He'd rather have marshmallows. He has a strange craving for marshmallows. “Suck it up, Noop. It can't be that cold. The cold never hurt anyone.”

“Tell that to everyone who's lost their extremities to frostbite, Matt.”

“It's not that cold.”

“What are you doing?” Anoop asks.

“Waiting to perform,” Matt says, dropping the orange back where it was. “Just waiting. You should see my seat. It's right on the court. I can practically touch the three-point line.”

“Matt, I can guarantee you can't touch the three-point line.”

“I said I can practically touch it. And if it's not the three-point line then it's some line on the court!” Matt laughs a little, watching himself in the mirror. He almost slips into that other reality then, the one where Anoop is sitting beside him in those court-side seats. “There's a line right in front of me.”

“Who's playing?”

“The Oklahoma Thunder!” Matt says proudly. “Don't you love that? The Thunder.”

“Yeah, but who are they playing, Matt? There's two teams on the court.”

“Oh.” Matt pauses, looking for any clue in the dressing room but there are none. “I guess I'll find out when the game starts.”

He smiles when Anoop chuckles. “You're hopeless,” Anoop says.

“I'll give you the play-by-play,” Matt promises. “I'm going to be right in the middle of all the action!”

“Well, I'll be at the hosting thing,” Anoop says. “So I don't know if I'll be able to answer. I'm not even sure what's happening at all. It's kind of bothering me.”

“You don't know what you're doing after the show?” Matt asks.

“No, I mean during the hosting gig. They basically just told me to show up.”

“You'll knock it out of the park, don't worry, Noop.” Matt lets his mouth linger, still rounded after saying Anoop's name. He imagines Anoop being there to kiss him. Sometimes it feels like this whole thing occurred in his head all summer.

“What are you doing after the game?” Anoop asks.

“I got invited to a party,” Matt says. Anoop or no Anoop there's no way Matt is spending New Year's Eve alone. In fact, he doesn't really like to spend a lot of time alone, period.

“Well, have fun,” Anoop says and for a moment Matt feels awkward.

“Happy New Year,” Matt says softly. “Just in case I don't talk to you before then.”

“You probably will,” Anoop says. “I'll call you later.”

“Bye Anoop,” Matt says. He puts down his phone with a sigh. He feels selfish, greedy even, but the thought keeps lingering in his mind. 2009 was good—really good—but he can't help praying that 2010 will be even better.

In 2010 he wants to be with Anoop.

* 

Anoop can't remember a time where he didn't have somewhere to go on New Year's. This year is no different and maybe that's the problem. He loves hanging out with his friends—they are the best group of guys he's ever known and that'll never change—but after this insane, life changing year he can't help thinking that something about this New Year's Eve should be different.

He's secretly glad that he wears a black coat the whole time so nobody really sees his new outfit. He likes the fact that it's something that he only shares with Matt.

They count down the new year and then the acorn drops and Anoop feels silly that he feels so proud about the whole thing but he is proud. It's been an amazing year that changed him in ways he didn't even know. He wants to celebrate that but even with the hoopla of downtown Raleigh and all of his friends waiting his celebration doesn't feel quite complete.

He wants to call Matt immediately but there's so many people around that he doesn't get a moment to himself for another half hour. He knows he should probably wait until midnight central time when Matt will be ushering in 2010 but he calls anyway. He can't wait. The phone doesn't even ring. It goes straight to voicemail. Anoop sighs before leaving his message.

“Hey Matt,” he says. “It's 2010 here and I was just thinking about you. Happy New Year. I said I was going to call.” Anoop bites the inside of his cheek so he won't feel so lame. “Maybe I can catch you for your 2010. Miss you. Bye.”

Before Anoop has a chance to think about moping one of his friends comes up behind him, ready to take the party to a new location. He follows, trying to feel the appropriate amount of joy for the new year, a new beginning, but so far everything seems the same.

It feels like he and Matt are destined to spend 2010 the same way they spent every single moment since the tour—far away from each other.

* 

The party is just how Matt likes them, full of fun people playing music, dancing and acting silly. There's plenty of booze but he isn't drinking. He's having plenty of fun, as much fun as he can muster anyway, and he doesn't like to drink around strangers anyway. When he's drinking he can't focus so much on being the entertainment and Matt loves being the entertainment. It gives him a lot of control over the situation and it's a fast way to make new friends.

Of course there's a piano. There's always a piano. In fact, they are at a piano bar. Matt gives the regular guy a break and plays his way through a bunch of party favorites as everyone sings and drinks around him. It's a nice bar, bright and open. Matt likes Oklahoma City but he likes Tulsa even more. Every time he thinks about the foot incident he gets a little charge right in the middle of his crotch. Anoop's pictures are still on his phone and it's so tempting to sneak a peek but he doesn't dare. He needs to keep his hands busy, even when he isn't playing, so he helps pass out drinks and he holds people's hands while they're dancing together.

Midnight sneaks up on him and as they are preparing for the countdown Matt remembers that Anoop is a whole hour ahead and it's already 2010 there. He fumbles for his phone and sees the missed call. Matt sighs loud enough for a girl to look over and ask him what's wrong.

“Nothing,” Matt says. “I just missed an important call.”

“Your girlfriend?” the girl says, managing to look casual and disappointed at the same time. Matt has to shake his head. It's just easier that way.

“Don't worry, she'll call back,” the girl says. He's swept up in the excitement again because it's countdown time now and before he knows it everyone is thrusting their hands in the air and yelling “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Matt yells, too, but he's thinking about Anoop. He spends so much time thinking about Anoop.

Matt downs his champagne quickly, just to be able to get away. He locks himself in the bathroom and sits on the closed toilet lid. His heart his racing while he listens to the phone ring from just yearning to hear Anoop's voice. But the only thing he gets is Anoop's automated voicemail message, robot woman voice carefully pronouncing Anoop's phone number.

“Hey,” Matt says. “Happy New Year. Sorry I missed you earlier. This party is pretty fun but it would be better if you were here. How are the guys? I bet you're having a really good time. I hope you are, Noop. Get totally shitfaced for me. I think I'm just going to go back to my hotel room soon. I'm pretty tired anyway.” Matt feels like he'll never run out of words but that's part of the problem. He's never sure if he said too much or not enough.“I didn't kiss anyone. First year for that. I miss you, too. Bye, Anoop.”

Matt hangs up and stares straight ahead for a moment, trying to keep his mind blank but there's always something churning in there, always a struggle to stay in the present. In his other reality he and Anoop are in the bathroom together and Anoop is starting the shower up. Anoop has always been a fan of shower sex and Matt is willing to please him.

He looks at his naked and half-dressed pictures of Anoop until he feels dizzy with longing and he has to get out of there before it got any worse. At least the party has cake now. He still wishes Anoop were there but the cake definitely helps.

Anoop knows he missed Matt's call because his phone buzzed in his pocket but he couldn't get to it because there was so much catching up to do. Its always different in person, so many more stories and expectations. Anoop has to pay attention, at least for a little while. He manages to hang on for another half hour and then he fakes like he's going to get a beer and escapes outside into the cold night air.

Matt doesn't answer the first time he calls and he nearly smashes his phone on the ground but then its buzzing again and he quickly brings it to his ear.

“We keep missing each other,” Matt says.

“Yes,” Anoop says and that's when he knows he can't stand it anymore. “I don't want to do this, Matt.”

“What?” Matt's voice is hesitant, slightly higher pitched as Anoop barrels on..

“This,” Anoop says. He's pacing the backyard. Anoop is not the type to pace while he's talking on the phone but Matt makes him crazy. “Whatever we're doing. I don't want to do it anymore.”

Matt doesn't say anything for a moment. Anoop has a funny taste in his mouth and it's not from the beer. He doesn't know how to explain it. He doesn't know how to explain anything.

“What are you saying?” Matt asks.

“I'm not going to spend another fucking year without seeing you,” Anoop says, words shooting out of his mouth. He wasn't sure what he was going to say before he said it but now he knows that's exactly how he feels. “I need to see you now or I don't--”

“How can we do that, Noop?” Matt says quickly. “What--”

“The first day in the new year sets the tone for how your entire year is going to be,” Anoop says. He doesn't even know why he says it because he doesn't waste his time with silly things like that. But it's there now, out in the universe, and now Anoop feels like he has to believe it, somehow, because he said it out loud.

“I don't want things to stay the same,” Anoop says.

“Me neither,” Matt mumbles.

“Meet me,” Anoop says, idea coming to him suddenly, just like everything else, just like the first time he kissed Matt, no warning, just so suddenly.

“Meet you?”

“Yeah,” Anoop says. He is already leaving, going back in the house to find his car keys. He's grateful he drove. That's the only way this will work. “Meet me halfway. Get in a car and drive right now. We'll meet each other halfway down the highway. I'm going to drive to Oklahoma. You drive to North Carolina. I'll see you on the way.”

“Anoop!” Matt says and then he's laughing. “Are you serious?”

“I'm coming,” Anoop says. He knows Matt has to hear the beep when he unlocks his car. “I'm going to drive right now.”

“You're serious,” Matt says, not a question, just a short declarative statement and now he, too, sounds serious.

“Hell,” Anoop says. “Maybe I'll get all the way there before you get started.”

“No way,” Matt says. “I think you forgot how fast I drive. I'm going to beat you. Give me like 45 minutes to get out of here. Then I'll be on the road.”

“I'm not waiting,” Anoop says. He has to move now or his brain will catch up with his heart and that would be a very bad thing. He just has to leave. He has to make this happen. “I'm leaving now.”

“I'm going to be there,” Matt says. “You'll see. Anoop, you'll see me soon.”

“I know,” Anoop says. “That's the plan.”

Anoop can feel Matt through the phone. He can already feel Matt getting closer. He takes a turn a little too fast, merges onto the highway. He's not even going to stop at home. He's already gone.

* 

The first thing Matt does is check Google Maps on his phone. Then he calls Anoop back immediately.

“Anoop, that's an 18 hour drive!” Matt exclaims. “And then you have to drive back.”

“We're going to meet in the middle,” Anoop says. “So make it nine.”

Matt hangs up and he feels bewildered and then a little worried but the more he thinks about this completely crazy thing they're about to do, the total ridiculousness of this plan—especially when Matt has a flight in less than 12 hours and he's sure Anoop has somewhere to go too—he starts to smile. He's never felt so daring and out-of-control before.

And he definitely loves to drive.

It's not as hard leaving the party as he thought it was going to be. Everyone is having too good of a time to really try and stop him. It's just before 2am when he finally gets out the door. He figures he can get back to his room, pack and load everything up in the car as fast as he can. He'll have to change his flight, there's no need to drive back 9 hours just to get on an airplane. He wonders how messy that will be and most importantly, how expensive. And where is halfway exactly? It might be in the middle of nowhere--

He barely looks up before he collides into someone in the parking lot.

“Oh, sorry,” he says, reaching out. It's the same girl who asked him about his missed phone call.

“You're in a hurry,” she says. “I left something in the car.”

“Yeah, I'm leaving. I have to go somewhere,” Matt says.

“Where are you going?”

Everything in Matt's life feels urgent right now. He wants to leave but he's also too polite to cut off a conversation.

“I'm going to meet someone,” Matt says and he smiles just thinking about seeing Anoop again.

“Right now?”

Matt nods.

“The person you wanted to talk to on the phone?”

“Yeah,” Matt says, feeling warm around the edges. He can't believe they are really doing this.

“Wow.” The girl wraps her arms around herself. She has a funny smile on her face, sort of wistful and romantic. “You must really love her.”

“Him,” Matt says.

Packing is faster than he anticipates because he doesn't fold, he just throws everything in there and then he's gone. He's an hour down the road before he remembers he didn't even check out of the hotel room. He thinks about calling them but instead he calls Anoop.

“Where are you?” Anoop asks.

“I don't know, I'm on the highway,” Matt says.

“It's a straight shot,” Anoop says. “40 takes you the whole way. It practically circumnavigates the whole country.”

“It circum—what?” Matt asks. It's three in the morning and he's on the first hour of a nine hour drive, he's in no mood for big words. Well, eight if he can help it. No one's on the road and he's got cruise control set to 80.

“Oh yeah,” Anoop says. “Did you bring anything? Like any condoms or anything?”

“What?” Matt says, even more confused now. “No...”

“I didn't have a chance to stop at home. Whatever, I can just stop somewhere--”

“Wait a second,” Matt says. “Are we really driving nine hours for a _booty call_?”

“What do you think is going to happen, Matt? We're just going to hold hands?”

Matt bursts out laughing. It's a few moments before he can hear Anoop again because he's laughing so hard.

“Will you shut up?” Anoop is saying.

“I thought you missed me!”

“I do,” Anoop says. “But I'm also really hard up--”

“Me too,” Matt says.

“I'm very sexually frustrated...” Anoop is still mumbling. Matt definitely believes it.

“Don't worry, I'm down,” Matt says. “I'm jonesing for it. But I don't know how much time I'll have. I don't know if I can stay the night or what. I have to call the airport--”

“I don't care if it's five minutes,” Anoop says sharply. There's a moment of silence between them. Matt's heart his beating quickly and he's still smiling like a fool because that's what Anoop does to him.. “Just five minutes.”

“You'd drive nine hours for five minutes?” Matt says.

“Yes,” Anoop says.

“Even if we don't fuck?”

Anoop sighs, heavily. “Yes,” he says again. “But I hope we do.”

That's all Matt needs to hear. He doesn't even turn the radio on after they hang up, not immediately. He runs through their conversation in his head, listening to the replay of Anoop's voice over and over again.

* 

2010 is already different. Anoop can't remember the last time he spent this long driving. His ass is going numb, his tank is low and all of a sudden he realizes his bladder is full so he pulls off at the next exit and goes to a truck stop where he can accomplish everything at once. At least there's a Starbucks inside. Coffee is one area in his life where he will not compromise and he needs a lot of it. He wanders back to his car with two Venti coffees but halfway through his second one he's still yawning, he has to pee again and it's only 7 in the morning.

After his next rest stop he calls Matt just before he gets back in the car.

“Where are you?” he asks.

“I don't know why you keep asking me that,” Matt says. “All I see are trees.”

“Matt, there's something called a road sign. Learn how to read it.” Anoop turns the car on. His Camry has taken him to a lot of important events in his life. He knows he should probably upgrade but he can't bring himself to do it yet. The car been too good to him.

“Are you grumpy from staying up already? Damn, Anoop.”

“I'm not grumpy,” Anoop says and he's not. More like anxious, more like just ready to see Matt and have this whole separation done with. He just wants it to end.

“How'd it get to be so long?” Anoop asks as he backs out of his parking space.

“Hey,” Matt says. “I'm watching the sun rise.”

“It already came up here.” Anoop looks up in the sky, the last of the pink and purple hues in the sky burning away to make room for the bright white sunshine. This stretch of I-40 is just a two lane highway in the middle of nowhere. There's nothing but trees and the occasional car. He likes being alone but it almost frightens him at the same time because it feels like it can last forever.

“It's pretty,” Matt says.

“You ignored my question.”

“I don't know, Noop. Time just... got away from us, I guess.”

“Why didn't you come to LA?”

“Why didn't you come to K-Zoo?” Matt counters which is a valid question. Anoop could answer that he doesn't want to go there simply based on the fact that Matt actually calls it “K-Zoo” out loud but he restrains himself.

“We could both do better,” Anoop concedes.

“Yeah. There's just so much going on. I don't know. But don't think that I didn't want to because I definitely _wanted_ to. I always want to.”

“Me too,” Anoop says quietly.

“There's too many excuses,” Matt says. “Like too many reasons not to do something. I want 2010 to be a year of no regrets. I want to do _everything_.”

“Me too,” Anoop says again. He likes the way Matt thinks. He always has.

“My other New Year's Resolution is to work out every day,” Matt says. Then he starts laughing. “Yeah, right!”

“That's my resolution, too,” Anoop says.

“You already work out every day.”

“But I'm trying to bulk up.”

“Whatever,” Matt says. “You know you look good. That's why you took that pic of yourself naked.”

Anoop just frowns to himself so he won't blush even though nobody is around to see.

The sun is in his face and that helps. Talking to Matt definitely helps. But Anoop can feel the sleepiness creeping into the corners of his eyes. He yawns once and then again even wider. He has to grip the steering wheel a little harder, especially when he hits some unexpected traffic.

“I'm tired,” Anoop says. He and Matt have been on the phone for 45 minutes now. He has his iPhone on speaker, resting in one of cupholders and it seems to work well. They don't need to talk constantly but Matt does anyway.

“You wanna pull over?”

“No.” Anoop glances at the clock. Every hour brings him closer and they've already lost a lot of time. “I'm okay. I just need to listen to some music, I guess. Something up-tempo.”

“Let's listen to something together,” Matt says eagerly. “What do you have?”

“I don't know.” He yawns again, picks up his iPhone. “Whatever, I can just buy it from iTunes right now.”

“You know what we should listen to?” Matt says. “Adam's CD! That'll get us awake.”

“Adam,” Anoop says slowly. “I still haven't listened to it.”

“What?” Matt shouts on the other end.

“I have it, but I haven't listened.”

“Are you serious?” Matt sounds incredulous and then he's laughing with the same aura of disbelief. “What?”

“I just haven't--”

“What kind of a friend are you?” Matt interrupts.

“--I haven't had just an hour to sit down and--”

“Bullshit! No way! You've had an hour, Noop. I can't believe this. Wait until I tell Adam!”

“Come on...” Anoop wishes he could throttle Matt through the phone just so he would stop laughing.

“Okay, then we definitely have to listen to it now. Turn it up.”

Anoop is glad he went ahead and got his adapter from Macy's anyway, even though he had to pay for it with his own money. As he plugs everything in and hears the first note of Adam's CD come through his speakers he realizes that his shopping trip at Macy's was less than 24 hours ago. It feels like it was in another lifetime. It feel like he left that behind in 2009 which was so very long ago.

Matt is mostly quiet while they are listening to the CD except for when he randomly decides to sing along. Anoop can hear Matt's music echoing from the phone but it's sort of comforting. He does feel more awake—more pumped—after listening to Adam. He's not sure if it's the music or just the combination of everything, this nostalgia and excitement he can't put into words. Listening to Adam's CD is like a glimpse into his own future.

“I'm not going to wait two months to listen to your CD!” Matt declares, like he can read Anoop's mind.

“I didn't wait two months,” Anoop says. “More like a month.”

“Over a month,” Matt says. “So it's more like two months. You waited two months to listen to Adam's album.”

“It was a good idea to listen,” Anoop says because he can at least give Matt that much credit. “I'm more awake”

“I'm full of good ideas,” Matt says. “You should listen to me. It was my good idea to hook up with you.”

“I think that was me,” Anoop says. “I kissed you first.”

“I put the idea in your head,” Matt says. “So ha!”

Anoop rolls his eyes but he's thinking about that kiss. It was a good kiss, even if they didn't kiss again after that for a long time. Anoop just needed some time to sort everything out in his head. Sometimes he hates that he took that long because that was just another period when he wasn't with Matt when he should have been. Anoop is sick of that. He's not going to let time lapse like that anymore.

“Where are you?” Anoop asks. It's almost 9 am and now they are closer than ever.

“I'm coming, Anoop,” Matt says. “I think I'm almost there.”

Anoop nods, even though Matt can't see. It's that voice that keeps his foot pressed against the gas.

* 

Matt is flying.

The road is his runway. He passes almost every car he meets, weaving in and out of traffic as fast as he can. If he were a cop he would arrest him. He doesn't even want to look at the speedometer. He just wants to keep going, he just wants to get there. He's tired, he's hungry, his foot is starting to cramp but he can't stop because he's scared if he stops then he'll _stay_ stopped and that's been the last three months. He can't do that anymore.

He's happy to be alone with his thoughts for a little while. He finally hung up with Anoop after he realized he hadn't called his parents and wanted to be responsible about that. Matt doubts he's ever going to tell his mom what happens when he goes places. It's probably better that way.

His rental car has Sirius XM radio so he listens to that, switching stations every time a song threatens to be boring. He needs to stay on his toes. It's just before noon so he's been driving for nearly nine hours with just one quick break to pee, get gas and he bought a 4-pack of Red Bull and a pack of fun-sized Snickers. He never thought it would be possible to get sick of Snickers but now he's coming pretty damn close. He downs another Red Bull and he can literally feel his heart thumping in his chest and there's a buzzing noise between his ears. He can't help slipping back into his fantasy world, thinking back to New Year's Eve how it could have been. He was invited to a lot of parties in Nashville so he imagines spending the holiday there with Anoop. He has so many favorite places to show him and so many people he could introduce him to. It would be a fun, easy evening that would end late in their hotel room where they'd kiss each other, nicely buzzed but not too drunk, and then take their time getting naked in order to _really_ bring in the new year. Matt sees this in his head so clearly. He's busy imaging the part where Anoop is sucking on his toes when the phone rings.

“Do you like my feet?” Matt asks when he answers the call.

“What's wrong with you?” Anoop asks.

“I had too many Red Bulls and I think I'm going to die or puke or something.”

“I think if you puke in a rental car you have to pay extra,” Anoop says.

“Are we there yet?” Matt whines. “Wait. Oh shit. Hold on.” Matt drops the phone quickly and slams on his brakes. The traffic came out of nowhere, a long series of red lights and unhappy faces. Matt tries to peer around the cars in front of him but he can't see much of anything. They've got three lanes but none of them are moving. For a moment Matt thinks he just might cry,

“What's up?” Anoop says when he calls back.

“I'm totally stuck,” Matt says. “There's like an accident or something. We're not moving, Anoop. Fuck.”

“Calm down,” Anoop says. “Just take the next exit. We'll find a detour.”

“I can't take the next exit. I'm never going to get to the next exit. It's not moving. I'm going to be here forever. Maybe you can just wave to me passing on the other side. Traffic's moving over there. I'm going to die here.”

“Have you always been this dramatic?”

“I don't know,” Matt says with a smile.

“You've always been this ridiculous.”

“Thanks, Noop,” Matt says. “You're really helping me out here.”

“Don't worry about it. Just take the first exit. Call me back and we'll regroup.”

“Okay, okay,” Matt says. “Talk to you later.”

He hangs up and taps the steering wheel anxiously. After a little bit traffic is not at a complete standstill and he creeps along while staring at Anoop's naked picture. He tries to think of the first thing he wants to do to Anoop when he sees him again but he can't narrow it down to just one answer. He stares at the picture a little closer and then texts Anoop.

_ Have you been shaving?! U know down there ;)_

His phone chimes with the reply. _ I wish I hadn't sent you that picture._

Matt laughs and quickly turns into the next exit as soon as he gets a chance. He had no idea where he's going except he's following a country road with a lot of farms. Cows stare at him blankly as he zooms past. The road probably has more traffic than it sees on a normal day but not enough to slow Matt down once he gets going again. There aren't many road signs and Matt can't concentrate enough to fiddle with his iPhone GPS so he keeps going, turning when he _feels_ it's right and keeping his foot heavy on the gas. If he's completely out of the way at least he can make up some time by going fast. He doesn't care if he gets five speeding tickets, he's going to meet up with Anoop somewhere, no matter what it takes.

He takes a sharp turn down a hill a little too fast and he slows down after that because it's not going to be a joyful reunion if he dies on the way. As soon as he sees the sign he's glad he's doing the speed limit so he didn't miss it. The sign hangs above him like it was waiting for him.

Like this was always meant to be.

Matt takes the next right. Then he calls Anoop.

“Ask me where I am,” he says.

“Still in traffic?”

“Anoop! Ask!”

“What?”

“Just ask me!”

“Where are you, Matt?” Anoop asks, sounding annoyed.

“I'm there!” Matt says. “I'm halfway. I'm in Nashville, Anoop, Nashvegas. You have to be coming up here soon. Please tell me you haven't passed it. It's like exactly halfway. I know just where to go!”

“I don't think I've passed it. I'll have to check--”

“This is where we're meeting,” Matt says. “You better get here soon.”

Matt doesn't know how far away Anoop is but he drives around the city anyway. He's had some of his best memories here. It only seems appropriate that this is where he'll finally have his reunion with Anoop. Nashville. He never knew he'd love the city as much as he does. It's the best kind of surprise, just like Anoop was.

He remembers the hotel he stayed at last time, this interesting place managed to be old-fashioned and modern and funky at the same time. He loves the fireplace he had in his room and the brightly colored furniture. Matt knows he has to spend the night in Nashville. There's no way he can just stay there for five minutes. Even if they were meeting in the middle of a cornfield Matt knows he can't spend just five minutes with Anoop.

He gets his bag up in the new hotel room when Anoop calls him again.

“I'm in Nashville,” Anoop says. Matt's heart is immediately in his throat but in a good way. He gives Anoop directions to the hotel, voice shaking in places. He wonders if Anoop notices.

It's not until he's standing in the parking lot that he realize that he's nervous—like slack-jawed, knees-knocking, palms-sweating, judges'-table nervous—and he's not sure why. It's been over three months since the last time and Anoop is recording an album and shaving his balls. Matt's just worried that everything's different. That Anoop will take one look at him and remember that what they had was just a summer fling and all they have now is memories and this whole driving nine hours things was a case of New Years Eve temporary insanity. All those fears run through him and he can hardly stand up straight because his knees feel so weak. He watches the cars on the road, each passing the hotel and it's been 20 minutes and he's worried that he either gave Anoop really bad directions or he's just not coming and then, just like that, a Camry turns into the lot and Matt wants to start running immediately but he waits until Anoop parks. He knows he's as ridiculous as Anoop says he is but he doesn't care because now he's running and he throws his arms around Anoop right there in that parking lot and Anoop hugs him back.

It's not the same. Everything about being with Anoop is instantly better right there between the asphalt and the sky. Anoop is sharp angles and strong arms, just like Matt remembers. Matt tries to hold him tighter but Anoop's got such a grip on him he feels like Anoop might lift him right off the ground. Matt buries his face in Anoop's shirt and takes a deep breath. He smells like deodorant, a splash of his favorite cologne and beer. He hugs Anoop long enough—hard enough—that his arms start to ache. But even then he doesn't let go, not until a car comes and carefully pulls into the space beside Anoop's car, so close that they have to move over.

Matt looks up into Anoop's brown eyes and smiles. “Hey,” he says.

“Hey,” Anoop says. Then he yawns widely and they both laugh.

“Am I boring you already?” Matt asks.

“Wow.” Anoop puts his hands on top of his head. “This is crazy.”

“Completely nuts,” Matt says. “Totally insane.”

“Wow,” Anoop says again.

“I like your jacket.” Matt reaches out and touches the material. It's a little rougher than he expected but he likes the smoothness of the buttons. He's unbuttoning the buttons before he fully realizes it and runs his hands over the thin t-shirt covering Anoop's chest.

“Are you really feeling me up in the parking lot?” Anoop asks. Matt looks up at his amused face.

“Yes,” Matt says.

Matt doesn't want to stop touching him. He's grateful when Anoop puts his arms around his shoulders and they walk inside together, achingly slow, Matt knows he has to at least pretend he can control himself. He just stares at Anoop in the elevator and he can see their reflection in the mirrors lining the walls. Anoop stares back at him. Matt has his hands on Anoop's arms. Anoop tilts his head with a funny half smile.

“You look different...” Anoop says.

“I buffed up,” Matt says. He puffs out his chest and laughs when Anoop hits him there.

“You look more relaxed,” Anoop explains. “Or happier.”

“Oh right,” Matt says with a grin. “That's you.”

The bed in their hotel room is immediately inviting. Matt just wants to lay down with Anoop in his arms and close his eyes. He also wants to rip those pants off his body and attack his cock like there's no tomorrow. In the middle of these conflicting thoughts Anoop closes the door and then grabs Matt's face. Matt ducks away.

“What?” Anoop asks.

“It's just that...” Matt says. He flashes back to that fantasy he had in the car, the fireworks in the air, the sparks flying between their lips. As silly as it is, he just really wants that midnight kiss. But there's no way to go back now.

“We should have done this sooner,” Matt says. “I never meant to let it go this long.”

“I know,” Anoop says. He grabs Matt's wrist and Matt smiles at him. Even though it's been so long at the same time it feels like he and Anoop are picking up right where they left off.

“I wanted to kiss you at midnight,” Matt says. It comes out whinier than he meant but he just shrugs anyway. “On New Year's Eve. I don't like to miss my kisses, Anoop.”

He expects Anoop to groan, roll his eyes or make a snide comment but instead Anoop just looks at him for a long moment.

“Okay,” he says. Matt looks down as Anoop takes his hands. “This is a time machine. Pretend we're in a time machine. We're going back to December 31st, 2009 at 11:59 PM and 55 seconds.” Matt laughs but Anoop is still talking, still holding Matt's hands tightly, brow furrowed with intent. “Okay, we made it. Now, here's the countdown. Five--four--” Matt is still grinning. He doesn't even try to join in because he doesn't want to ruin it. He really does feel like he went back into time somehow and it's dark outside but this hotel room was always where they were supposed to be, celebrating the New Year together, just like in his fantasies.

“Three,” Anoop says, moving in closer. Matt circles his arms around him once again. “Two.” Anoop's nose is pressed close to his and Matt can't stop this smile that's practically splitting his face. Not until Anoop gives him a reason to.

“One,” Anoop says. “Happy New Year.”

Then the kiss is right there. Anoop's mouth on his, warm and giving, his tongue slowly parting Matt's lips and everything fits together just like it used to, just like it's supposed to, just like it will from now on and Matt knows that he needs to make a change because he can't go three months without this again. Anoop's hands are on his hips and then around to his ass and Matt keeps moving his hands all over. He can't settle them anywhere. Anoop doesn't seem to mind, he just presses himself deeper into the kiss, everything getting closer, their bodies, their mouths, their noses.They kiss until Matt can barely feel his lips and then he finally pulls away to take a noisy breath.

“Happy New Year,” Anoop says again. His lips look swollen, darker. Matt runs his fingers over them, moist and smooth.

“Happy New Year, Noop,” Matt says. “I think I'm going to like this year.”

“Yeah,” Anoop says. “Me too.”

Matt doesn't really want to talk. They've done too much talking. Soon they are kissing again and Matt pulls Anoop down on the couch. He hopes Anoop really did get the condoms but he knows they aren't going to make it there for a little while. After all, they are 11 hours in the past thanks to Anoop's imaginary time machine. Matt slips his hands under Anoop's shirt for the first time in _so_ long and he thinks that their relationship is actually more than three months in the past—picking up from when they last saw each other—and it's going to take a lot of kissing to catch up.

“I can't believe we did this,” Matt says after a few minutes of making out. It's better than he thought, better than his fantasies. Nothing can be better than really being with Anoop. “It was a really good idea, Anoop. And it happened here. Now, Nashville really is my favorite place. I have so much I want to show you--”

“Shut up,” Anoop growls, lips against Matt's neck, voice sexy and low, and Matt has missed that ,too. Matt smiles—he can't stop smiling so hard that it's making him light-headed—and when Anoop's mouth covers his own once again he is happy to oblige.


End file.
